This has got to be a record

so im writing twice in the same week....its gotta be a record. anywho, this is just a little update so that i dont have to write so much on the next one. plus im really bored, so it works out.

after reading ivy's blog, i couldnt help but think to myself how much i want a relationship where i feel UNCONDITIONALLY loved. the more i think about it, the more i feel like ive never had one (well i mean minus family and you guys of course). so romantically speaking...im getting the shaft! im pretty tired of constantly pouring out love and affection only to be given whatever that person has left over or has time for. bryson is selfish. i tell him that, too. he takes and takes and takes. theres not alot of give these days. it kinda sucks, and it hurts like hell. im sorta at a loss. not sure what to do anymore because all i want is to know that he really knows what it means to LOVE someone. like whole-heartedly, unselfishly love me. i dont think he knows how. and i really think im ready to find that...whether it's him or not. ive given all that i have, and ive risked alot on him. he takes it for granted. he never tells me how he feels about me anymore, and i never feel truly appreciated. ive already told him that i know what i deserve, and i know im not getting it from him. ive told him that i feel stupid sticking around when i know how i should be treated and have yet to be treated that way. so im working on it. i pray about it all the time, and i know that it will work out in God's time. its just hard to try not to control it. i know i just have to seek after God first, then i will be lead to the right person. so send one up to the man upstairs if you dont mind!!

lately ive been feeling not so hot. i want to sleep ALL the time. i know that ive always slept alot but now, i mean it was getting out of hand. i was sleeping unholy amounts of hours everyday. i would sleep like 12-14 hours a night then could easily take 3 hours naps later in the day. i know i said the day before the wreck i was pretty sick so i went to the doctor. well they did some tests and drew some blood, and it took up until this morning for them to freaking call me back and tell me the results. drumroll please.....

i have MONO. im pissed. not only am i walking around like i should be wearing a neck brace because i turn my whole body to look at people when they talk to me because im so sore, but i feel like im narcoleptic, too. how awkward is that picture in your head... but oh well. i know that this all happened for a reason, and it worked out perfectly to where since i dont have a life and have no commitments, i can stay home and sleep all day nursing my sick and VERY sore body! God works in mysterious ways, people. but im still thankful for every day! but not gonna lie...i am getting pretty bored. i have plans to go get all of these books you ladies have been talking about.

so obviously, no job yet. but of course, im not trying too hard these days since i dont even want to move or get out of bed. the one job i really wanted is sorta a wait-it-out thing. i called them a week after i turned all of my application stuff in and everything to check on my status. they said with those jobs my application will go into a pool and if they select mine i will get a call for an interview. not much else i can do there, i guess. so we'll see...im trying to keep looking in the meantime. be praying that i get a job that im meant for SOON!

that's about it. sorry this one was pretty boring. love yall and miss yall like crazy!