all quiet on the western front...(or something like that. im not too good with geography, am i in the west? eh...who cares)

so it seems to be all quiet on my side of the world. and yes, i do feel like im in a different world here in the lbk. sometimes i sit alone at my apt and wonder how i got here. i feel like ive been here forever. sometimes it feels like ive always been here. just like austin and ut and those best years of my life never even happened. its really quite odd. but it only takes one tiny little memory of my time there, and it all comes back. then i miss yall even more. and austin. and ut. and every single thing that went with it. crazy how time flies. all of those corny country songs really do know what they're talking about after all...

so my lovelies...i must say i dont too much enjoy writing on this thing. i think i just like to read y'alls and pretend i dont have to chip in on my little "blog". but i guess i will. it's just that you all make me feel so boring and lame when i read all of these hilarious, life-changing, mushy, intellectual, inspiring, everything that my posts are not.....blogs. but then i think....damn. my friends are bad asses! im like in the "cool" crowd now!

here's a little bit of what has been going on in my lame-o life lately:

1. the job hunt seems endless. the LBK is not the best place to find a job, turns out. BUT there is a light in the darkness!!! its called connections--it really is about WHO you know, not what you know. im glad to say that MAYBE, just maybe, there is a plus to come out of brysons fratastic life. his name is Dr. Jason P. White, DDS. yes, a dentist. and i hate the dentist. but that has nothing to do with it. met him the other night at the bar (great first impression right?....i know what youre thinking, he was drinking, too! so back off!) but, we shook hands, i was intimidated, made sure to throw in there that i graduated from THE university of texas, he has really white teeth, hes pretty cute, hes not that old (28), hes single, hes rich....im getting way off track here. moral of the story, he said he could get me a job. hes a little hot-shot with lots of his own connections so i hear. we'll see if he actually does. i took him my resume like he asked. so what's a girl to do from here?! i also found another opportunity that i really think might fit me better than anything else i have found so far. its called early childhood intervention specialist. you just have to have a bachelor's degree and not be a felon....CHECK and CHeck...wait, yeah, CHECK!! so i picked up the application. read some on the program, and decided it was the best prospect up to now. i basically would be evaluating children from infant to three years old that are developmentally delayed. its a salary job working only 266 days outta the year. not sure what all my actual position would entail...that's just kinda what the program is about. you work with the child and the family to intervene and implement programs to correct or lessen the effects of the developmental delays. sounds intereseting to me and fits more with my psych. major and social work minor. not that i will prob ever use any of that crap anyways.....

2. i am OBSESSED with eli. he makes me happy. although i get real pissed when he sneak attacks me from under my bed when i walk by. ive nearly (yes, ivy. nearly) tripped and died like 5 times now. ive accidentally kicked him in the head a few times (and maybe once or twice on purpose...ooops.) but other than that i love and adore him. he goes to brysons house with me when i go there. bryson likes him, too. he even calls himself eli's daddy (ok maybe he only did it once). kinda weird...not sure how i feel about it. although bryson did pay half for eli. still....then that makes bryson like a deadbeat dad. no childsupport. he doesnt help take care of eli. and he sure as hell doesnt spend enough time with him....haha, jk. just wanted to make it sound like we had a little bastard love-child together. oh and yeah, eli has this little isaac mizrahi carrier that has brown leather handles and pink and white polka dot interior. soooo cute. i take him in it all the time. hes starting to not mind the car at all. and i dont care that he's a boy cat. maybe he likes pink.

3. and i know you are all wondering "what about that bryson kid? he still being a douche?"
answer-sometimes. but definitely not as often. im pretty good at dealing with it now. we actually had a HUGE long talk the other night. and he actually did most of the talking. it was a miracle. we got somethings resolved then. just a little. but im just being there for him and we have a blast together so i dont really want to lose that right now since im kinda stuck here in lubbock with only a few really good friends other than him. but i make sure and put the guilt trip on him whenever possible so that he knows im not just gonna be waiting around forever. i threaten him that ill just give up sometimes. he gets the picture for the most part. we have sort of a tumultuous relationship right now. but i feel like things are looking up to say the least. so....that's that. a little too complicated and messy to type all of it here right now.

4. im really trying to make my spiritual life priority right now, too. i know of course that it should ALWAYS be priority but i really struggle with it sometimes. so...ive been trying to read the Bible alot more and do some journaling. bryson and i go to this college ministry/worship service every tuesday night called late nite. ive met alot of really nice people that i love to talk to. i hang out with some of them. some of you girls know one of them, brian. hes the youth minister at this church, and he even speaks at some of the late nites. hes really gifted and so wise with everything that im not, spiritually speaking. i mean lets not get ahead of ourselves here...im a damn genius (haha...jk. i wish). but i love talking to him and i love the fellowship i have found at this church. brian has even asked me to be a leader for one of the homes at their disciple now at the end of this month. it really freaks me out bc im not good at stuff like that. so, not sure if i will do it or not. i know it would be an amazing opportunity, i just dont know if im ready for it yet. so send up a few prayers if you can whenever you think about me!!

well ladies...i guess that will about do it for me. until next time....(which will prob be a long time from now).....

LOVE Y'ALL, BITCHES!!!